My Post-Holiday Spiral

ok ok, i failed you for 3 weeks. I was naive enough to think that I would be able to write this newsletter while on my road trip, alas, I was not.

Very little beats travelling, exploring the world and just putting yourself in a position of new experiences.

Of course, there are many benefits to going on holiday, such as de-stressing and relaxing. However, what has been most beneficial to me are the ideas that develop during the trip itself.

From my previous newsletter, it might have seemed that I did not enjoy my travels. That is not the case at all. However, I do know that if I were to travel like that again, there are ways that I would change to align with my mental health and my journey in life.

I was reminded of something I already knew: my journey of finding how to live a fulfilling life is far from over. From my previous newsletter I talked about the anxiety I was dealing with. During my travels, I believe I got a bit ahead of myself. I thought I could just go and travel and not “work” and feel good about life. There were moments of bliss that felt like that, but now that the trip is over, I don't think the "traditional" way of traveling is quite for me—at least not at this stage in my life.

I love travelling, but I also love progressing in life and working towards something. And I think combining both is very possible. Moving around and working has been becoming more and more popular, and for good reason. Having the freedom of location has many benefits. There is a reason why people are moving in places like Bali, Thailand, Eastern Europe etc. and working remotly, earning “western” salaries.

But this is the beauty of new experiences. It allows me to contemplate my life and how I want to go about living in this world. Trial and error is the best teacher.

Although I think I am on the right track, staying consistent on that path is proving to be very difficult. I often hear people say "trust the process," but that sometimes feels like an excuse if one is not achieving much in life. However, at the same time, results from actions might take a long time to materialize. It really isn't very black and white.

Returning from these travels has been rocky, lol. This has been the longest travel excursion I have ever done, and prior to leaving, I was pretty locked in - had my routines, schedules, direction, etc. Since coming back, I have been all over the place. I knew I was going to be a bit off rhythm, but bloody hell mate, I lost the plot from the day I arrived.

I arrived back in London on Saturday after leaving Switzerland in the morning. I started unpacking straight away. I did about an hour and a half of it before my energy was drained and I switched back into holiday mode. There was nearly a whole bottle of white wine left which I’d put in the fridge as soon as I came in, so by now it was at the perfect temperature. I had a glass and started catching up on YouTube after not watching anything for four weeks. My girlfriend ordered me a burger and fries as she was on her way back home and felt guilty she could not help me out with unpacking.

So far so good.

Glass of cold wine, YouTube, burger, and fries. I kept topping up my glass and felt like having one last holiday ciggy. I did that, kept watching YouTube, and slowly but surely, it went from a wholesome evening to a downward spiral. I ended up finishing the bottle, and YouTube turned into porn. Porn turned into rubbing one out for the first time since September. Crazy. Sorry if that was too much info for you lol.

I went to bed thinking what the fuck just happened.

The next day was a little better, did some excerceise, tidied up some more, was just going through the motions of transitioning from holiday to normal life. Day by day things improved.

Once again I was reminded through my actions of how important the basics are. Having a plan, sleep schedule, morning routine etc etc. And without them, how quickly my life falls apart. I hadn’t put much thought about it since leaving because when you are on holiday there is always something exciting to do. So yeah a bit of a shock to the system coming back for sure.

So yeah all together, the first week has been a bit of a write off work wise. But on the other hand, it has been a good time to re-calibrate and be more specific in what direction I want to go in.

A little wishy washy newsletter but I just needed to get something out to just keep the train going you know. But we back baby. Time for me to put my head down and see what I can make of this year.

Lots of Love,

Koko

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