For a healthier digital relationship

Key word - Dopamine - a neurotransmitter that is responsible for allowing you to feel pleasure, satisfaction and motivation .

I'd like to start this letter by saying that more than anything, I am writing about this topic for myself. It truly is one of my biggest downfalls, and I am sure I am not the only one.

The reality of being a creator, an artist, a freelancer, or anyone else who has to use the internet to earn their money is that you can find yourself in a pickle very easily. How often do you find yourself working through a difficult task, and as soon as you struggle, your body, like clockwork, reaches for your phone to open one of your favorite dopamine apps, or opens a tab and within 0.1 seconds, you're already typing "insta"…

My relationship with these platforms is still not as good as I'd like it to be. But it sure as hell is better than what it used to be. I've learned to set boundaries and systems in place that have massively improved my productivity and focus.

This letter is split into 2 parts. Part 1 explains how to develop your digital philosophy, while Part 2 lists the tools I recommend for optimizing your screen experience.

Philosophy

We need to start with this because the idea is to take a step back and figure out what you, as an individual, need most from the internet. The way websites and apps capture our attention can be very sneaky. It's not just social media apps; it's anything that takes you away from your task or goal at hand. This could be Amazon, online shopping, porn, Netflix, or anything else. The thing is, you probably already know this, but what I find with myself is that I tend to forget how vulnerable I am to it. All it takes is a little reminder to check in with myself and say, "Hey, you don't need that" or "Hey, you are spending way too much time on this.”

So the question is: Is this contributing or taking away from what I am trying to work towards?

Much of this is tricky because the platforms that capture our attention are incentivized to make us feel like they benefit our daily lives. And while they can provide many benefits such as growing a business/personal brand, "time-saving" conveniences, shopping, and staying connected with people, these conveniences come at a cost. The price we pay is our attention, which, in a world driven by advertising revenue, is the most valuable currency.

It's important to remember that nothing is truly free in this world. Whether it's a free app, website, or a physical item that your friend is giving away, that thing will eventually end up collecting dust on a shelf, clutter your physical and mental space. You might get rid of it when you move house or flat and realize you haven't touched it since you put it there, or you might be like me and convince yourself that you'll use it eventually, only to finally part with it 8 years and 4 different homes later because you are writing a newsletter about it and don't want to be a hypocrite lol. (Okay, maybe not a complete hypocrite, since I've been slowly decluttering my life for the last year or so.) But the other day, while watching a vlog I made 8 years ago, I saw a book that I've carried with me flat-to-flat without ever opening. So, it's time to say goodbye to "1001 MOVIES YOU MUST SEE BEFORE YOU DIE". I hope someone else will appreciate you more than I did.

We often perform certain actions because they have been ingrained in us by the world, whether inherited from parents, friends, or pop culture. It's important to check in with ourselves and not only ask if we need a certain thing, but also question why we're drawn to wanting it in the first place. This will bring us closer to finding the answer.

Tools

Before we get too excited, no amount of tools, hacks, and tips will completely prevent us from falling into the trap of scrolling once in a while. This is all about minimizing the damage. Think of it this way: if any of these tools reduce your screen time by an hour a day, that adds up to 365 hours a year, which is 15 full days of screen time. I don't know about you, but there are a hundred things that I would rather be doing in that time than mindlessly scrolling.

PHONES

Most of these are apps are paid but in my opinion, it is money very well spent. (time is money right?)

1. onesec - 15 quid for the year for the pro version (which I recommend). It's a little bit of a faff to set up, but once it's done, it's great. It forces you to face your compulsive app opening by first giving a 10-second breathing exercise, then telling you how many times you have tried to open the said app in the last 24 hours, and confirming that you still want to open it, with a little prompt of why you want to open it. Essentially, it just stops the invader (aka our monkey brains) in its tracks. This has personally worked pretty well for me because it forces me to ask myself why I am really opening this app in the first place. Is it my brain seeking dopamine or is it for something actually useful?

   

2. Setting my iPhone to grayscale. I know it might seem a bit ridiculous, but we humans are simple beings. We see nice colour we click on nice colour. Over the years, I've learned not to overestimate my capabilities of digital self-control, and this was definitely one of those things where, before I tried it, I thought it was silly and unnecessary. But it has worked surprisingly well to stop me from mindlessly clicking.

   You find the setting through Accessesibiliy → Colour Filter → Greyscale

   But here is a hack for the hack. You can make a shortcut for it by going to Accessibility, scrolling all the way down to Accessibility Shortcuts, and choosing Color Filters. Now, all it takes is three clicks of the power button to turn on and off. This is useful because when using the camera or wanting to watch something, you can turn it on and off quickly. One of the most important aspects of building a habit like this is to make it as easy as possible to do.

   For Android users -
   

   1. Open your phone's Settings app

   2. Tap Digital Wellbeing & parental controls

   3. Tap Bedtime mode.

   4. Turn on Bedtime mode. In Android 13 and later versions, tap Customize. Screen options at bedtime.

   5. Turn on Grayscale.
      
      

Mac/PC

I mainly use a software called Freedom, which costs about £33 for the year (but there are always discounts flying about, and I pay £20 for the year). It is essentially an app and website blocker. You choose which apps and websites to block, set your time, and bam! You can't access them for that amount of time. Simple. You can also set recurring sessions. I have had mine set from 20:00 to 09:00 for the past year to make sure I don't stay up too late and start my day right. Of course, it doesn't always work. Our minds can figure out ways to distract us in other ways, but like I said, it's all about minimizing damage. You can also connect this to your phone. I found that it worked a lot better on my Android than it does on my iPhone, something to keep in mind.

Chrome/browser extensions.

This will vary massively depending on what you do. But one of my personal biggest downfalls is YouTube. The YouTube algorithm knows what I am interested in more than all my friends and family combined. It's scary but also incredible because when I actually want to watch something, it never fails to disappoint. Can you hear me justifying my YouTube addiction? Lol. Anyway, the extensions that I use. Also they are all free.

1. News Feed Eradicator - This is not YouTube-specific, but what it essentially does is turn the homepage of any social media website into a blank page with no content apart from the menu and some sort of quote that half the time isn't too bad. I honestly recommend this to everyone; it makes using websites so much less distracting. How often do you find yourself going on YouTube just for a tutorial on how to "make the best French press coffee" and end up watching "I gave £500,000 to a homeless guy"? Oh, that doesn't happen to you? Maybe it's just me. You get the gist.

2. DF Tube - Gets rid of YouTube recommended videos on the right side of whatever you are watching.

3. Youtube short-block - It stops shorts from auto-playing.

Last few words.

Maybe you have finished work, you're on holiday, or maybe just sitting on the toilet. It's all well and good to have these tools set up to stop us from using these attention-grabbing monsters. But here comes a deeper question: once that monster goes away temporarily, another monster comes in. He goes by the name of boredom, and oh boy, is our society scared of him right now. We do everything imaginable to hide away from this scary lad. But on a serious note, I feel like this is an underappreciated part of being human. This is just a personal theory, but if you think about it, boredom has been the culprit for many inventions.

Human gets bored —> human creates things to become less bored and make his life a little better.

In the past, the things we created as humans required effort and time, and it took a while before we experienced the satisfaction of completing them. Nowadays, we hardly find ourselves truly bored. This is because society has found ways to profit from it. However, boredom can be a useful tool for examining ourselves and figuring out the direction we want our lives to take. It can help us find ways to make life less miserable and more full of love and excitement. We frequently seek out dopamine hits to escape the realities of life, but these fleeting moments of joy do not equate to true happiness. Eventually, life catches up with us and shows us this one way or another.

I won’t preach to you to meditate or go on a silent retreat in the mountains. But it is good to remember that we do not have to fill every moment of boredom with the consumption of information. How you do that it’s up to you.

This is sort of an extention of my most recent youtube video. So if you fancy watching that - click here.

Thank you for reading my newsletter. I would love to hear what you thought of it, send me your brutal feedback on email or instagram DMs.

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Lots of love,

Koko

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